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ODAR

:smokin: Smoking and T2D

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Subby
Its day 3 and yeah last night was pretty hard ... late night shopping .. traffic , kids - stress...but managed to go one more night without a cigarette but today kinda feels flat... not really as motivated. Thanks goodness I am pretty busy with Accountants and Auditors - this is the first time I am able to post anything on the forum:o

Have no smokes but am really fighting within to go buy some but then I think No!... UUUGH real .....real ..... not nice!!!

 

Just a couple random comments Odar...

 

I think it's good to be busy, but at the same time I found that with quitting it was best to occur during a busy enough but specifically NOT stressful time. A time where quitting can be fully one of the things "on the plate" for at least a couple of weeks, to have the time and energy to be able to focus the mind periodically, take breaks like going for quick walks or whatever you need to "reframe" your thoughts and get through the next 10 minutes when you find the going tricky, re-reading the book or notes that help you, etc etc. You need to re-read or write or think about those things that gave you clarity of thought and strength, with initially quitting. You need to make those ideas and that conviction a bit of a habit. Does Carr talk about making every craving a very conscious decision making process, a decision based on the freedom to smoke if you (really) want? Riley does. I think that really, really, really helps to have as an ingrained habit or response to a smoking urge.

 

The other thing I found extremely useful was (again I think this was Gillian Riley's method: I found her to have some wonderful wisdom) to carry cigarettes with me from the start for at least a month. I would even take them out and play with them occasionally, even put one in my mouth, the first while. (Actually I oscillated between having them really close, sometimes I just had them "nearby"). This simply meant I removed any delusion that I was depriving myself, and stopped all those struggles of "shall I buy some... feel like I'm failing if I do".

 

Another thing of Riley's I found great was to make it my own project on my own terms, and not share it with anyone close or even get into conversations with strangers about it. That way led the likelihood to doubt your thoughts and resolution, and to feel extra stress to "achieve" something, or avoid what might be "failure" in other people's eyes, whereas if you keep it to yourself as a courageous and powerful secret (or almost secret) much less can tear away your sureness.

 

I realise that goes against what some people have found (that telling everyone, talking about it constantly etc, was helpful) and I am not saying that can't work for some, but simply think about if talking about the details now that you are "doing it" is helping or jsut creating more bad feelings as you go through all sorts of difficult transitions.

 

For that reason you should be careful to think if it's providing support or if other people might be undermining you... for example I would have found Rob's post of repeated failure and sense of denial, quite disturbing and disrupting to my own faint but strong positivity and faint confidence, that I could get through the cravings one step at a time and not fall into the traps of failure that some people get stuck in year after year after year, the traps and failures that I think are part of the smoking "mythos". YOu don't need that stuff on your shoulders if you can get away from it and prove you can do it, and even if you don't follow through now, there is nothing to say you won't do it again - and success next time.

 

And of course that includes my posts, again I don't know if me talking about it helps or hinders. One thing I will say, the Gillian Riley book may well be worth a few bucks if you can order it, it's a lot more elegant and has some powerful but not obvious ideas that really might help you.

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reefedjib
for example I would have found Rob's post of repeated failure and sense of denial, quite disturbing and disrupting to my own faint but strong positivity and faint confidence, that I could get through the cravings one step at a time and not fall into the traps of failure that some people get stuck in year after year after year, the traps and failures that I think are part of the smoking "mythos".

 

I certainly never meant my post to be undermining the determination of Odar. I wish him the very, very best of luck in quitting this nasty demonic habit that digs its claws in deep. It takews courage. I can see where my negative post may derail Odar's efforts and I apologize for that.

 

That said, Subby, I fail to see where my post exhibits a sense of denial. I was just sharing my experience. Please elucidate.

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Subby

Sorry Rob, I guess I was thinking purely in terms of what message I felt was important for Odar, in talking about your post. I did not mean to be negative or rude about it. Certainly no need to apologise to anyone as far as I'm concerned.

 

So to rephrase, my though was that it's up to the quitter to avoid activities which puts them in the path more negative stories and experiences, which often set off old traps of feeling hopeless, and not traumatise or overly challenge this "new you" that begins to have a vision of a life without cigarettes but is very hesitant and newly born, if you like.

 

As for the "sense" of denial I mention, it too was not meant in an insulting way as if you are just deluded or stubborn. The denial involved I was alluding to, was the sense of how hard and fruitless it is to try and quit that comes across from smokers who try and fail and give up on quitting. I personally see that very much as a denial of how easy it actually can be - in the sense of finding conviction and sticking to it and actually getting through - while the very nature of drug addiction tends to reduce this free will and undermines the idea of a clean choice, in often multi layered and comprehensive ways - it denies free will. (And that can be extremely powerful, and I have been there, and there is no criticism inherent of you in my reference to it - it's the smoker's conundrum, as far as I am concerned). Yep, I'm aware that's a little more complicated and abstract perhaps than the usual application of the word denial - sorry if it seemed to bite that way.

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Vicki NC

Hi Odar,

Sorry for the length of this post, but I want to tell you how I quit smoking. One day I lit one, put it in the ashtray, let it burn down, and never smoked another one--for five years.

 

Then I began to feel ill, and being a breast cancer survivor, I decided I didn't want to go through any chemo, etc... again...so I started back smoking, stupidly figuring I'd just smoke myself to death. What I never counted on was the human will to live deep inside me. Turns out it wasn't cancer again. It was pneumonia and emphysema/COPD, and I believe probably undiagnosed diabetes.

 

But I digress. Before I could smoke myself into oblivion, my body took over. I went into acute respiratory failure, and wound up in the ER, then ICU, intubated for nine days. Needless to say, that was the day I smoked my last 'sickarette'.

 

The horror I put my family through, staying there in ICU with me, and not knowing whether or not I'd survive, is a guilt I live with every day. The amazing joy I feel at being alive allows me to handle that guilt--that and the beautiful little grandson I'd never have gotten to know had I checked out early.

 

I hope you have a successful quit, Odar! I'll send tons of positive energy your way.

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reefedjib

The "denial" in the sense that I think it is too difficult for me to even try to quit again is spot on. The amazing thing to me is from this side of things, it looks insurmountable. Then again you hear from people, many who have commented here, that they were able to do it cold turkey and that it perhaps was ultimately an easy thing to accomplish and that they remain nonsmokers. I suppose it just takes the right frame of mind to make it happen - this frame of mind still eludes me.

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Hammer
I suppose it just takes the right frame of mind to make it happen - this frame of mind still eludes me.

 

That is the key reefedjib. Before anyone can quit smoking, they have to want to quit. If a person figures that they should quit, but they really don't want to, nothing they do will stop them from smoking. Once a smoker determines that he's tired of smoking, he hates everything about smoking, then he has a good chance of quitting.

 

The best thing that could happen in this country would be if they outlawed cigarettes. By removing cigarettes from easy reach of people, you would probably get 99% of the population to quit smoking. Of course the government would lose a great deal of tax revenue, so you won't see them outlawing cigarettes any time soon.

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ODAR

Hey Everyone - thanks so much for your positive feedback. I have decided that I am going to see the doctor and get some champix- then re read Allan Carrs book - If I can get my hands on Gina Riley's book - that would be good too. I also want to say or confess that yes I had a cigarette last night:( but it was ok - I felt all the guilt etc and didn't enjoy it as much. So what I have decided is - OK I will need to plan properly and actually talk to my Head and definitely make a start date - but wait.... I won't be announicng this bacause - as it was mentioned in this thread somewhere -that for me it does put undue pressure - something I really don't need. I know it will happen because I really have the desire to be a NON Smoker! Also I want to start running! I have always wanted to run... thats my reward for not smoking.

 

But I need to say again A BIG THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR SHARING AND HELPING ME through this. I am so blessed that there are people like you guys out there:o Thank you all once again!

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