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Maniago

Parent of 13 year old

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Maniago

Tia was diagnosed at age 3, she is now 13. She doesn't want to tell you when she is out of or low on insulin in her pump, she has to be told to do the simplest of things such as to us alcohol. Her diabetes team says this is normal with teenagers. Tia says she is sick of diabetes and wants rid off it, understandable feelings. Any ideas on how to motivate her? I can't be with her 24/7, she has to have some resposibilities.

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duck

Part of the motivation is either knowing how well you feel when you are under good control, or maybe seeing some of the consequences of what NOT taking care of yourself are...

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camjen1

The only thing I can't stand about this disease is when you have people constantly nagging on you. I would have people bug me and ask should you be eating that, what was your last sugar reading, did you take your insulin blah blah blah. Maybe lay off a bit to see how she acts and if it gets to a point of danger then step in. She is also young and at this age they are wanting to do things on their own.

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buzzborne
The only thing I can't stand about this disease is when you have people constantly nagging on you. I would have people bug me and ask should you be eating that, what was your last sugar reading, did you take your insulin blah blah blah. Maybe lay off a bit to see how she acts and if it gets to a point of danger then step in. She is also young and at this age they are wanting to do things on their own.

 

I have to agree on that, I constantly had my parents on my back asking if I had done this, done that, you shouldnt be doing this etc since I was diagnosed and as teenagers do they tend to rebel against the things that they are told to do, and then that gets things spiralled even more out of control. So to a certain extent I agree with camjen and I would lay off a bit, but not enough for things to get to a dangerous level.

 

I told my parents to back off a bit becuase I said it did make me want to reble more if they kept on at me, and they did repect my wishes, though every now and again they will put their foot in, just becuase they are concerned, which is no bad thing.

 

I hope things look up soon, if she wants someone to talk to PM or email me if you want - I'll be happy to chat.

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am1977

I think that it is fairly common to go through a denial/rebellion stage as a teen. I was dx'ed at 24, so I missed going through puberty and all that fun stuff with diabetes- Oh darn! :P However, I know there are members here who have dealt with diabetes since being a child and probably could share quite a lot with you.

 

I have to disagree a bit with what has been said. I think that if she is not taking care of herself, you need to set rules for her or at least become even more involved. If she is having trouble testing, set times when you can be there to test with her. Or if changing the insulin pump sites is the problem, make a schedule to follow of when she will change the set. I understand that sometimes nagging or harping on these issues may cause further rebellion, but to me, it sounds like she needs someone to step in even more and help her in managing this disease.

 

I know you have other responsibilities, but she does need you. Please don't give up on her. I would hate to hear that something has happened to her.

 

Good luck :)

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CarlyesHope

I'm new at the diabetes stuff, but i'm not new to being a mom so i hope i can help. I firmly believe that children test the boundries for a reason. They test to see if they are loved. They need to know that you care, that you love them, that their life is worth living. If you set firm rule and stick by them, no matter how difficult it may seem, she will see (perhaps not today, tomorrow, or next week), but she will see that you love her. Not to mention, that the habits you instill in her today - however forced they are - will follow her for the rest of her life. My daughter is only 12 and hasn't yet rebelled, so i may not know what i'm talking about, but when the day comes, this is how i intend to approach it. Stand firm and stay strong, one day she will thank you for it, and you will thank yourself.

 

Kelly

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Funnygrl

Maybe she would like to visit this board herself and talk to others living with the same disease? I know it may be hard to get her to at first, but that really helped me get motivated.

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nantomsuethom

We try to give Thomas as much freedom as possible.

 

But I think if we weren't on top of him most the time (meal and play times) he wouldn't do what he should except for checking his bg (that has never been a problem).

 

He thinks its ok to guess the carbs, which he is not good at yet. There are days when after school he comes to my office and tells me he guessed at the insulin dose he took when someone brought in a snack for the end of the day! He usually guesses to small a dose which is better than guessing too much but he will have a sugar of 300+. :cool:

 

We have to remind him all the time to take his pump off when he goes out to play.

 

I think being a preteen or teenager they need reminders. Their minds are too occupied with friends and video games. ;)

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Maniago
I think being a preteen or teenager they need reminders. Their minds are too occupied with friends and video games.

 

That is what I think, just finding that balance between nagging and being watchful

 

have to agree on that, I constantly had my parents on my back asking if I had done this, done that, you shouldn't be doing this etc since I was diagnosed and as teenagers do they tend to rebel against the things that they are told to do, and then that gets things spiralled even more out of control. So to a certain extent I agree with camjen and I would lay off a bit, but not enough for things to get to a dangerous level.

 

After talking with her last night, she says she feels smothered, that the first thing people ask is "how is your blood sugar". So I have agreed that won't be the first thing asked, and to ease up a bit if she will be more responsible. (of course i will be checking ;)) Our diabetes team says this is common with teenagers, because this is one thing they can take control over one way or another.

 

Keep the advice coming, it helps to hear from other people who have dealt with this from both sides

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Mick

Tough place to be--10 years with diabetes, age 13... Even "normal" (aargh!) 13-year-old girls are a handful, emotionally--I had one a while ago, and she was impossible. I was also a 13-year-old diabetic once upon a time myself. Rebellion, independence, freedom from the "Diabetes Police" all become important issues. You walk a very fine line here--you need to keep her safe, yet you need to begin to give her some space. The compromises need to be negotiated little by little, until you trust and respect her, while she understands your requirement to parent her with care and respects your authority. It's like any important, potentially dangerous situation with a teen--driving, sexual activity, there will be many cases where these issues will arise. With a diabetic child, however, they are everpresent. It's a vbery 2-way street. Communication is key.

 

Michael

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buzzborne

Hang in there you're doing great!! :thumbsup: Teenagers can be very stubborn at times but they do need a kick everynow and again!! lol (got the bruises to prove it.. :P LOL j/k)

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Batty

i went through that stage...and my mom nagging me didn't help(as camjen1 said). just let her know that its important she take care of herself, and back off a bit and she'll get over this stage. make sure she's taking care of herself and all that of course, but don't nag her about it.

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archimeech
That is what I think, just finding that balance between nagging and being watchful

 

 

 

After talking with her last night, she says she feels smothered, that the first thing people ask is "how is your blood sugar". So I have agreed that won't be the first thing asked, and to ease up a bit if she will be more responsible. (of course i will be checking ;)) Our diabetes team says this is common with teenagers, because this is one thing they can take control over one way or another.

 

Keep the advice coming, it helps to hear from other people who have dealt with this from both sides

 

I would have to agree with your daughter about being smothered. she's in an emotionaly charged, hormonely altered 13th year of her life! lol Treat the person, not the disease. Make sure you're there for her needs, and I'm not talking about diabetes. I was diagnosed at 13 but had the same kind of problems, I wound up rebeling against everything. If you push, they will push back, she's a big girl now, even though she will always be your baby girl, she is quickly winding her way down the road to being a woman. Love her, and let her be.

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daddyo

Just takes time and let her coast for while she knows what to do by now and how to handle it kiddo went through this now at 22 she still goes through it so do I she knows that when she does'nt take care she will feel like crap and she will come around If you bug her too much it's a no win situation for the both of you so let her coast a little I bet she will come around because she will be controling it and kids love that power

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Maniago

Thank you all! it helps to understand another point of view. It is very hard not to see that chubby faced 3 year old. I have backed off some and explained it is going to take some getting used to on my part and her showing that she is responsible.

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