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SnuggleBunny

Hubby Type 1 Diabetic... why we cant concieve?

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SnuggleBunny

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to this site and I just want to hear what resolutions work in order to conceive. See my hubby is a type 1 diabetic who has no control over his blood sugar, and he tells me this is why after 5 months we haven't conceived.

 

I've been trying really hard to get on him about taking his insulin and checking his blood sugars but still no success with him. I'm starting to believe that this baby is never going to happen..

 

help please?:confused:

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GeishaGirl
Hi Everyone,

I'm new to this site and I just want to hear what resolutions work in order to conceive. See my hubby is a type 1 diabetic who has no control over his blood sugar, and he tells me this is why after 5 months we haven't conceived.

 

I've been trying really hard to get on him about taking his insulin and checking his blood sugars but still no success with him. I'm starting to believe that this baby is never going to happen..

 

help please?:confused:

 

This may sound really really horribly harsh, but why you are trying to have a child with a man who will undeniably have horrible medical complications in no short amount of time, given his current path? Seriously, can he be expected to take better care of a baby than he takes of himself? Because that's what it's going to boil down to.

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foxl

This does not sound like a man whom I would want as a partner in raising a kid, either.

 

But ... if this is really what you want, get to a fertility specialist (I would go into counseling first, just sayin). It really could be nothing whatsoever to do with Diabetes -- probably is nothing to do with it in fact.

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ramon

Hey Bunny, I know these folks sound harsh but they do not lie. If your husband has bad sugar control then pretty soon he wont be making love period. People esp men who have diabetes lose interest in sex period. It seems like natures way of saying Hey you are no good to the species. You have to do something to have interest in this disease or your future looks very bleak Im afraid and so will your children's. Counseling is a must to start off with, then control for the blood sugar. Do what ever you have too or let him know that maybe its in your futures interest to move on down the road. If someone doesn't care about himself how can he care for you? It takes more then love to have a successful married life and future. Im sorry if this sounds blunt but it comes from the heart. Please don't leave now because this is a interesting topic and we care about people and their loved ones who have this decease. Stay in touch and maybe someone will come up with something to help you out.

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SnuggleBunny

really hes a good man, hes just doesnt control his blood sugar and it drives me nuts! I try to remind him and he tells me to back off.. :eek:

 

We have been together since he found out just a little over 2 years ago about him being type 1 diabetic, but still.. no success.

 

As we speak his glucometer says hes at 23.0 mmoL and he should be at between 4.5 and 7.

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ramon

Im sorry bunny but you are looking at a dead man, he may be good but believe me he is a fool. Make sure you have life insurance if any body will even sell you any. I sound like a @sshole I know but its true. Don't back off, be a good nagging wife and pull every dirty trick in the book you have too or else you are wasting your life. Maybe his just scared, scare him some more. Sometimes tough love is what a person needs. Are you in contact with his parents or siblings. Have you discussed this with them. If not I suggest you do so they can educate themselves on diabetes and try to save this mans life. Btw how old is he?

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SnuggleBunny

Well lets start by saying nobody will sell life insurance for him, because he is a 28 year old type 1, bipolar w/ borderline personallity disorder, who is ADHD. Wow thats a lot to type in one breath.

 

As for his parents, I only talk to his biological father because his mother and stepfather wont talk to me.

 

We've gone to diabetes education classes, and couples counselling, and yes I know what you mean about looking at a dead man. I think about that all day every day for the last 2 and a half years.

 

Is he scared? Doubt it, think hes just stupid sometimes, as bad as that is coming from his wife.

 

Am I wasting my life? Quite possibly cause you cant change someone that doesnt want to change, but I will stand by his side because I love him as does our son, and my stepson.

 

We get in arguements like tonight, where I say "We decided together that we were going to try and concieve another baby, and you say that its your fault... then why dont you take some control over your blood sugar so we can make this possible?" and he responds "I cant remember to check my blood sugar, take my pills, and take insulin."

 

Quite honestly if I thought I could make money somehow (Hes on a disability pension...) I would pay for him to get an insulin pump, and make both of our lives easier, and his last longer!

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ramon

Well now we are getting somewhere. Quite obvious you are a good and loving wife and maybe there is a chance with you around. A pump would be great and there are many folks who replace pumps for one reason or another. There are assistance programs out there. Contact the manufacturer's or the ADA or even the doctor. I wouldn't go telling them that he doesn't care though because most likely then they wont either. I just saw a thread yesterday with all kinds of assistance programs. Give me a hour or so to look up and find the addresses for you. HANG TIGHT.

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ramon

There's a lady here who really cares about folks who might be able to help you out. Her name is jillrap look her up and PM her and Im sure notme will help out too, you might want to pm her as well. I hope they don't cuss me out but Im not worried cause they don't know where I live.:D GOOD LUCK and God Bless cause you need it. Ray.

 

 

 

 

If you are having trouble affording your medications please see the following links:

 

Eli Lilly - Lilly Cares - Glucagon, Humalog, Humalog 75/25, Humulin R, Humulin N, Humulin 50/50, Humulin 70/30

Lilly Cares

 

Novo Nordisk Inc. - Glucogen, Levemir, Novolog, Novolin R, Novolog Mix 70/30, Prandin

Novo Nordisk US Patient Assistance - Novo Nordisk US

 

Amylin Patient Assistance Program - Symlin, Byetta

Amylin Pharmaceuticals » Patient Assistance Program

 

Novartis Pharmaceuticals - Starlix Novartis

Patient Assistance Enrollment

 

Takeda Pharmaceuticals America - Actos, Actoplus Met

TPNA-Pharmaceutical Patient Assistance Program

 

Pfizer Inc. - Connection to Care - Glyset, Glucotrol, Glucotrol XL, GLynase, Micronase

https://www.pfizerhelpfulanswers.com/ProgramList.aspx#2

Xubex Pharmaceutical - Amaryl, Diabeta, Glipizide, Metformin, Glucophage, Glucophage XR, Glucotrol, Glynase

Xubex Home

 

GlaxoSmithKline - Avandia, Avandamet, Avandaryl GlaxoSmithKline

GlaxoSmithKline: BridgestoAccess

 

Sanofi-Aventis Patient Assistance Program - Apidra, Lantus

Sanofi-aventis US researches, develops and brings to market new and innovative healthcare products and treatments for cardiovascular diseases, oncology, sleep disorder, thrombosis, allergy and respiratory illness, diabetes, central nervous system, in

__________________

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Jan B

Hi Snuggle,

 

Please put off getting pregnant. The health of a future child is seriously at stake.

 

I also worry about your husband. I wish there were some magic words of encouragement. Be strong, but put the health of a future child above all else. Is there any chance that your husband doesn't want any more children, and may be stressing over that and in turn not wanting to get himself healthy?

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SnuggleBunny

I just wanted to thank everyone for their support, although I barely slept last night things have become a lot clearer to me what needs to be done.I have researched insulin pumps and turns out that there is a way to have them covered here in Ontario..

 

Ontario Ministry of Health and Long-Term Care Information - Public Information - Assistive Devices - Publications - Insulin Pumps and Supplies

 

I have also called the diabetes educator here in my local area who says that I need to get the hubby into see her, and have our family doctor make a referral for him to see an endocrinologist.

 

I am now working on educating him that this is what needs to be done, and that he could have a much higher quality of life.

 

I wanted to come on here and thank you all for your inspiration, and the help you have offered! I don't know what I would have done without your help!

 

I will keep you posted in whats being done in the mean time!!

 

Thank you again!

~Michelle

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Jan B

Michelle,

 

You have taken great steps already. I wanted to add that your husband really needs support. Two years into having type 1 isn't really that long. Technically, it's plenty of time to get it all together. But emotionally, having diabetes can be a bit like a never ending roller coaster ride. Or not so much, when control and acceptance work hand in hand. It's helped me a lot to have other diabetics (here on DF) to commiserate with.

 

I wish you lots of good progress. Please stay in touch -- you can always invite your significant other to look around in these forums.

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foxl

Michelle, I am raising two kids -- one ADHD, and one Autistic, which heavily predisposes to Borderline Personality Disorder.

 

I strongly suggest genetic counseling before a pregnancy, too. I adore my kids, would not have my life any other way, but ... I have a stable marriage, and a lot of education going for me, and other stuff in our favor. It is a huge challenge to raise these kids so that they will become independent members of society. It is a constant battle just getting adequate eeducational services for them, for starters. I Really did not know about that part. And many, many studies show that both conditions are hereditary.

 

I do wish you luck, but there is more at stake here, even if your partner disappears from the picture (which of course hopefully not).

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SnuggleBunny

Well heres the latest update as of this afternoon..

 

We called and made him an appointment with the diabetes educator.. he goes tomorrow morning at 11am.

 

Hes going to see the family doctor at 2pm tomorrow to get his referral to an endocrinologist.

 

So I am finally making progress with getting him to the specialists that he needs to see and continually see! It just too me calling and getting some more information this morning when I talked to the educator, and I educated him!

 

Sometimes men are difficult!

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jerryn
Hi Everyone,

I'm new to this site and I just want to hear what resolutions work in order to conceive. See my hubby is a type 1 diabetic who has no control over his blood sugar, and he tells me this is why after 5 months we haven't conceived.

 

I've been trying really hard to get on him about taking his insulin and checking his blood sugars but still no success with him. I'm starting to believe that this baby is never going to happen..

 

help please?:confused:

Well snugglebunny.

Tell your husband that he really needs to get his glucose in control or he's gonna get a limp biscuit. If it's out of control for too long then... that will happen. Plus it can cause other stuff... like yeast in the worst locations.. and it will be contagious. Maybe that will motivate him!

 

I know it motivated me. LOL. .. as soon as I learned I had a problem with glucose I wanted to be sure I kept the glucose under control. Mostly because I don't want to have the disease effecting me that way if you know what I mean LOL.

So far no problems. And if you keep it under control you won't have any problems.

 

This is a disease you can control.

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UpNorth

It's great you really care for your husband's health! I think he's just in denial and haven't accepted his condition- it can happen anyone at anytime really. Even people who have had diabetes for very long can just drop off the wagon sometime, and just about 2 years isn't a long time. Getting a diabetes diagnose can really bring your whole world upside down and for some it takes a long time to recover from the shock and accept the new everyday.

 

I hope your husband's appointments goes well and that it might get your husband to realize how much better he'll feel if his sugar is under control because yes, when you are high it's easy to get moody:o Even if a high level doesn't feel high because body is used to being high, one realizes it when being down to normal levels how bad those highs really feel:eek:

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SnuggleBunny
Well snugglebunny.

Tell your husband that he really needs to get his glucose in control or he's gonna get a limp biscuit. If it's out of control for too long then... that will happen. Plus it can cause other stuff... like yeast in the worst locations.. and it will be contagious. Maybe that will motivate him!

 

are you serious? yeast infections? wow.. thats a new one to me. I mean its a miracle the man is still alive because when we found out that he was diabetic he was admitted to the hospital with a blood sugar reading of 43.3 (nurses wondered how he wasnt in a coma) What else can high blood sugar cause?

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Gary_W

Hi,

 

Good luck with this moving forward.

 

Diabetes can be a complete nightmare if you don't take ownership of it, and that is the only way forward here for this man... Education is paramount, as is realising that you cannot just ignore it and think it will go away.

 

As to pumping. I've got news for you - it isn't a magic bullet. It is (IMO) the 'gold standard' for insulin treatment but it requires you to blood test more often than MDI and requires you to apply the knowledge that those blood tests give you to fine tune and get it right. Used correctly, the pump can really improve your numbers and your quality of life. But please realise between the pair of you that it is just a tool to help.... if he is not willing to do the basics (i.e. blood test and know what to do about it if the result isn't good) then it is not going to help anyone but the pump company shareholders.

 

As to pregnancy not happening... I'm a strong believer in the 'fight or flight' instinct being a major player in fertility. If your body is scared, you are less likely to conceive as (from a genetic viewpoint) fear = a threat to your life and if your life is threatened you cannot run as easily whilst carrying a baby. Remove the fear and increase the fertility. If you are scared for the wellbeing of the father then you've dropped your chances. Fortunately, fixing him has a good chance of fixing your fertility problem so it's a win / win. Personally, I think that trying to conceive when one of you is pretty seriously ill is not a good idea, but that's obviously an opinion based on the little knowledge gained from reading your post.

 

Good luck

 

Gary

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jerryn
are you serious? yeast infections? wow.. thats a new one to me. I mean its a miracle the man is still alive because when we found out that he was diabetic he was admitted to the hospital with a blood sugar reading of 43.3 (nurses wondered how he wasnt in a coma) What else can high blood sugar cause?

.. periodontal disease, blindness, vascular disease, renal failure

 

There's a long list of stuff.

 

This is why it's so important to get it under control. If you keep your glucose within a normal range you minimize the risk of complications. You can live a normal healthy life with diabetes as long as you take care of yourself.

 

If your husband wakes up extremely thirsty or funky stuff around the lips, that's from the diabetes too.

 

Good luck, hopefully he will realize it's time to get the glucose under control.

 

I'm actually glad I was diagnosed.. I am in better shape than I was 15 years ago, plus I am taking care of myself now.

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Gary_W
are you serious? yeast infections? wow.. thats a new one to me. I mean its a miracle the man is still alive because when we found out that he was diabetic he was admitted to the hospital with a blood sugar reading of 43.3 (nurses wondered how he wasnt in a coma) What else can high blood sugar cause?

 

One of the main things it does is to cause microvascular damage, so anything with really small blood vessels in it gets a lot more wear and tear than it should.

 

The main bits to go wrong are the kidneys, the eyes, the extremities (toes, feet, fingers, penis). It also ups your heart attack risk.

 

The good news is that current research seems to suggest that getting your HBA1c down makes a HUGE difference in complication rates. Whilst you cannot be 100% sure of eliminating complications, you can really take the risk level down by taking control of your BG readings on a day to day basis.

 

A less known 'complication' in the here and now is that high BG readings tend to make you lethargic and, in some people, depressed. I'm a pretty positive person but prolonged double figures bring out the glass half empty side of me so I avoid them like the plague as I just cannot afford to get like that.

 

Gary

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SnuggleBunny

Well he already suffers from depression so thats not a big deal, thats with dealing with this bipolar ****, but apparently he has decided hes gonna grow up after talking to the nurse today, and he has to go see a dietition.

 

He saw the doctor, he has a referral to the endocrinologist, hes going to start eating more sensibly, and take it easy on things that can up his blood sugar!

 

Hahaha the nurse did it.. made him realize that hes killing himself, now if only I were a medical practitioner I could give him more **** with my education!!

 

Thank you jerryn & gary_w your posts showed him a lot more than what he realized and that hes not the only one that is suffering...

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Ted_Hutchinson

Association of vitamin D status with serum androgen levels in men. shows us that Vitamin D status is important for fertility and higher levels of Vitamin D create higher testosterone levels.

 

We also know that Vitamin D is essential for Estrogen Biosynthesis of Both Female and Male Gonads

 

So while it is absolutely essential immediate attention is paid to glucose control, it is also worthwhile, irrespective of the type of diabetes you have, to maintain an adequate natural (60~80ng/ml 150~200nmol/l) vitamin d3 status with around 1000iu/daily/D3 for each 25lbs you weigh.

 

Grassrootshealth D Action offer cost price postal 25(OH)D3 tests.

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KrissyKC

Three friends of mine died the same year of diabetic complications... their ages... 60,57, and 45 (ish)...

 

They dealt with... organ failure, including congestive heart failure... kidney disease, (dialysis)... etc... your eyes are also an organ, and vision impairment or total loss is very likely...

 

Poor circulation can cause infections in your feet, legs, hands, or pretty much anywhere (including yeast as one previous poster commented)... the worst is if they pick up a staff infection, sometimes from being at the dr.s dealing with another infection... You can get an antibiotic resistant infection, which means, all they can do is cut off dead skin, irrigate the wound, and pray they get it all before is spreads... sometimes suppliments help...

 

The infections can cause things like severe annemia (low iron, I think) that can be bad enough to kill you or just make you so exhausted that just waking up every day is a chore...

 

There is another symptom... which is really wreaking havoc on me... memory loss and losing your mental grasp... I loose words, faces, names... it's like I have early stages of dementia, but I'm a 32 year old mom of three. This is really hard to deal with... I can share more if you want sometime...

 

Finally, (at least of the stuff i can think of)... you mentioned bi-polar and ADD and all... well high sugar actually can mimic or make worse these mental/chemical/emotional disorders. High sugars makes me snappy, moody, emotional, and it really looks like bi-polar, but it moves with my sugar levels (sometimes my female hormones, too)...

 

Please, consider the cost...

 

1. A child by him can have his issues...

2. He could be a tad abusive, possibly, or at least not the best dad because of dealing with his own issues.

3. He could be seriously ill most of the childs life or die while the child is young....

4. Please forgive me, but if you can't afford an insulin pump, how will you afford a child?

 

Now, I know we can't live our lives on fear...

 

But.. if you are determined, have you considered using donor sperm? This way, you can prescreen for health reasons. I know that's probably tough on your hubby, but could he love the child? Or perhaps you two could foster or adopt...

 

I'm sorry. I wish i had more to offer. I appreciate your willingness to let us share with you our opinions... either way, the decisions are yours and Gods... I will pray you can make them clearly and be 100% behind your decision.

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