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belyro

A Poem

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belyro

Today's Me With D blog post is about retinopathy again. You can find it here: A Poem Me With D but I've also copied it below.

 

A Poem

 

I’m starting to worry that I’m on the verge of another retinal bleed.

 

Last time I had a (relatively) major one, it started in the bottom of my eye. I could see the dark ooziness in my lower periphery every now and then until it finally let loose and poured upwards into my vision. The whole process lasted a few days.

 

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I’ve been having lots of spotting in my eye – tiny dots that come and go within a few hours, but that tend to indicate that a bigger bleed is on the way. So the dark goopy development in my periphery is only serving to worry me more.

 

Anyway, instead of posting more about my feeling of impending retinal doom, I thought I’d post a poem that I wrote in the earlier stages of my retinopathy. I don’t write much poetry (so don’t expect a lot of it in this blog) but this one was written as part of my process of acceptance when I needed laser treatments for the first time. It was difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that the laser treatments would be damaging my eye and certain aspects of my vision (e.g. peripheral vision, night vision, etc.) and “killing” parts of my retina in order to save my overall vision.

 

Here it is…

 

Healing light

Bringing pain, destroying me.

Killing what I want

To save what I need

Giving me darkness

To keep me from blindness

I love and hate you

Murderous savior

Burn me and let me see

Scar me to protect me

Heal me

Heal me

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mzteacher

i am so sorry you are dealing with this bethany...

you have such a beautiful way of expressing yourself...

good thought being sent your way....

susan

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