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TypeInewgf

My new boyfriend is Type I, and I want to understand and be as supportive as possible

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TypeInewgf

So I met a wonderful man almost a year ago who happens to have Type I diabetes.  We did not date initially, but were friends who went on hikes and sometimes went out to dinner.  We are both fit and active.  He is a wonderful cook.  We did not initially date because he has sole custody of two young children, so his life is quite complicated.  That aside, with all of our hikes, there was only one incident where he experienced hypoglycemia, and thankfully I had some crackers and granola bars on hand.  

 

So, we decided to go for it a month ago, and started dating.  With that, instead of the occasional phone call once a week, they are now sometimes more than once a day.  With that, there have been several evenings where he is nearly incapable of speaking on the phone, and is incoherent, between 6-11 PM.  But then at 11 he calls and sounds perfectly fine and is hyper again.

 

Does anyone have any experience with this?  He says he typically goes below 60.  I am just worried.  Should I be concerned?  He does not appear to be concerned, but it is like there are two different people -one hyper, one nearly in a coma.  Is this glucose, or something else?  

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OneEye

Should you be concerned? Absolutely! That he's sharing information with you is a great step forward in this.

 

But, this "sharing" can become a slippery slope, especially when you say "he does not appear to be concerned". That could be due to a few things, one being maybe he doesn't realize the affects of his hypoglycemic episodes, or...he's now apathetic about the whole thing. Best to know which it is. Hopefully he's just ignorant of the consequences. Maybe all he knows about his Type 1 is the few minutes he spends with his doctor.

 

What would I do in your place? I suppose first I'd tell him I'm very concerned and that I'm going to ask real-world diabetics for information on Type 1 diabetes and seek their counsel, "Is that okay?" If he says yes, truthfully, then it's in for a penny, in for a pound. You can ask all the questions you want here, asks for links to read, etc. and show him what you've found. Get him involved as well. Be cautioned though...not to make this your quest and a topic of constant conversation. No one wants to be the "sick" partner of a budding relationship.

 

Welcome to Diabetes Forums. :)

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Gladtobehere
Quote

he has sole custody of two young children

 

I fear for the children.   He needs to be in 100% control.   100% of the time.  A type 1 should carry a sugar source at all times. Particularly on hikes. 

 

Quote

What would I do in your place? I suppose first I'd tell him I'm very concerned and that I'm going to ask real-world diabetics for information on Type 1 diabetes and seek their counsel, "Is that okay?" If he says yes, truthfully, then it's in for a penny, in for a pound. You can ask all the questions you want here, asks for links to read, etc. and show him what you've found. Get him involved as well. Be cautioned though...not to make this your quest and a topic of constant conversation. No one wants to be the "sick" partner of a budding relationship.

 

Agree.  Find out soon.

 

I hope it works out for you guys. 

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TypeInewgf

So a couple of weeks ago I did inform him that I was reading up on Type I.  He sounded grateful that I cared enough to learn.  I think that has at least cracked the door open for further dialogue.  He does respect my opinion.  I am not a physician, but am an immunologist.  When he first told me that he had diabetes I could tell he was very self conscious, so I made a flippant comment about "so your immune system hates your pancreas, T cells suck" and he laughed.  But I am the first to admit that I knew nothing of the management and some of the signs, and am learning now.  

 

No, he does not want our relationship to evolve around diabetes.  He has made that clear, so I need to be careful.  He is athletic and competitive and prides himself on that.  It concerns me that when we traipse in the mountains for 6 hours he does not bring sugar.  Is he trying to pretend he doesn't have to?  I'm not a psychologist, but part of me thinks that he has to be responsible 100% of the time for himself and two children, and it has been that way for 4 years, so when he gets his rare time to get away with me, he let's me be the responsible one.  I mean he knows I carry a survival blanket, first aid kit, bear whistle, and enough food and water for 2 days, lol. 

 

But I will have to let him know that his evening hypoglycemic episodes scare me, and something needs to be done.

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OneEye
11 minutes ago, TypeInewgf said:

 I mean he knows I carry a survival blanket, first aid kit, bear whistle, and enough food and water for 2 days, lol.

 

Just an FYI:

Montana Grizzly Bear Notice:

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear
conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game
is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra
precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field.
We advise that hikers carry bear whistles. We also advise hikers to 
carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.

It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear
activity.  Hikers should recognize the difference
between black bear and grizzly bear poop.  Black bear poop
is smaller and contains a lot of berry seeds and squirrel fur.
Grizzly bear poop has bear whistles in it and smells like pepper
spray.

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TypeInewgf
12 minutes ago, OneEye said:

 


Grizzly bear poop has bear whistles in it and smells like pepper
spray.

 

Lmao, I learn something new every day!!!

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meyery2k

Welcome - You, and hopefully in time, your boyfriend will find great advice here.  It is possible that your BF simply does not know what we know since there are so many misconceptions about diabetes.

 

I can't comment on the Type 1 aspect since I don't go hypo but having diabetes, I do agree that it needs to be acknowledged but not made central to any relationship.

 

Hypos need to be taken seriously.  They can be deadly.

 

On the other side of the coin, there are active posters here that have lived for decades and manage fine.

 

Good luck and I hope to see you and your BF here! ~ Mike

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JohnSchroeder

Hi and welcome!  I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.  Personally, I would carry carbs with me for emergencies.. better safe than sorry.  But if he is a very active person he knows best what is likely to happen.   So maybe he did carry carbs with him for years, never had to use them.. and stopped.

 

No idea about the incoherence between 6 and 11pm.  I suppose it COULD be low blood sugar.  Would seem most likely.  But if I ever get low to that point, I am running for some fruit snacks or gatorade.  It's not something that is fun to continue to experience.  Just ask him what his blood sugar is at next time that this happens. 

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SB_Krista

Just so you know, the more frequently he has hypos, if indeed that is what is happening when he calls you and is incoherent, his body adjusts and he is less likely to actually feel them (and do something about it). As others have said, hypos are not to be ignored. Good luck and so great that you're taking the initiative to learn all you can and be supportive to him.

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