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Simon (UK)

Studies showing illegal to discriminate

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Simon (UK)

My son's mother is denying me unsupervised access to my child and is arguing in court that my diabetes represents a risk to him. I am looking for studies that show the risk is so small that it is illegal to discriminate on that basis, particularly in connection to driving in the UK but other studies would be of interest. Can anyone help? I think I remember reading that it is illegal for an insurance company to charge a higher premium for diabetic drivers though I know they get around that by charging a higher premium because of the medically restricted licence.

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adiantum

I'd be talking to a lawyer about that.

Do you have your D  under control? if so you can show your log book or A1c history .

 

I'm sorry you are experiencing this.

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OneEye

If this become a court thing...don't make diabetes the subject...make driving the subject and have two things agreed to:

1. That your son's mother deliver the child to you and pick him up.

2. That any outside activity you and your son go to be by taxi.

3. If she says she can't deliver or pick him up then drive to her house, leave your car there and take a taxi with your son back to your place.

 

This eliminates the argument over driving.

Edited by OneEye
edited for speling

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dowling gram

I don't think you are going to find any studies to prove your case. Every diabetic is different. Some have good control and others have no control. The only risk to a child from a diabetic is if you don't have control of your diabetes and would have a low or high while having custody of him. If you have good control and have never had such episodes then a letter from your doctor should confirm that fact and destroy your son's mothers argument. Instead of studies look for people who can confirm the fact that your diabetes would not effect the child. If you can't do that then request supervised visits or get someone to agree to ber with you when you have your son.

 

I don't think driving is an issue if you have a license to drive. If you have a license then the government thinks you are fit to drive.

 

It is not discrimination if she has a valid reason

Edited by dowling gram

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Simon (UK)

I already have supervised access but it's very poor quality. The mother dictates and micro-manipulates every aspect of my visits. I am unable to have a meaningful influence on the way my son is being brought up. My diabetes is extremely well controlled and I do not expect the court will be taken in by the mother's claims but I do want my argument to be as strong as possible. I have had a licence to drive 7.5 tonne lorries in the past and have a certificate of fitness to scuba dive so I think the mother is on a highway to nowhere on this one.

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dowling gram

I agree Simon but make sure you have every shred of proof of that fitness when you go to court. The judge won't go on hearsay. He/She will want proof. Courts run on documents --the more legal orientated the better. Have as much evidence that you can get that supports the fact that your diabetes is under control and you are in excellent health--A1C's for as far back as you can get them, a letter from your doctor that supports the labs, your drivers license, your certificate of fitness to scuba dive, a letter from your employer that says you have a good work record with few days missed. If you rent a letter from your landlord that says you pay your rent on time will show that you are stable person that can provide for your son and anything else you can think of that supports your claim of good health and that you can provide a good home for the boy. Focusing on you, your life and your health is essential and more essential is that you have documented proof of those health and stability claims

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OneEye
8 hours ago, Simon (UK) said:

The mother dictates and micro-manipulates every aspect of my visits. I am unable to have a meaningful influence on the way my son is being brought up.

 

I feel your pain. Took me a couple of marriages to figure out I had no business being married. At the time...I thought it part of the "American Dream". I guess some people's dreams are other people's nightmares. :blush:

 

Kids turned out great though. My genes trumped her attitude.

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dowling gram

OneEye a good marriage takes work. It takes respect on both sides and the willingness to compromise. Too many people rush into marriage without knowing the other person. Love is an overused word. Love blooms out of friendship it does not come in an instant--that's infatuation. One person can't make a good marriage. It takes 2 people working together.

 

Ann Landers said it best--Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and allows for human weaknesses.

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